Last night, I watched the livefeed from the Vancouver Police officially announcing Cory Monteith’s death. And in that moment, a part of me became completely numb. I didn’t know what I was feeling, if I was feeling anything. I said a monotone “oh” and continued to look through my feed as everyone was finding out and grieving. And I just sat there for an hour. Went to bed. Woke up. Numb.
I spent most of today wondering why I felt like this, why the announcement of Cory’s death had this kind of an impact on me. I watched Glee like an average fan – I wouldn’t say I was a Gleek or even remotely in the glee fandom – so why am I feeling this way?
Do you ever just look up billions of Adam Lambert videos on YouTube and fangirl for hours even though you’re supposed to be asleep but you can’t fall asleep because Adam is perfection, and amazing, and everything good in the world yeah me too and I just need a moment-
okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too
but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time
and then another person fell
and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting
and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy
do you ever just want to grab someone by the shoulders and scream “NO YOU’RE A WONDERFUL PERSON YOU DON’T NEED TO FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF EVER” and aggressively shove them into a pile of fluffy pillows and throw them some of their favorite chocolate